Thursday, November 5, 2009

Tooth Mouse

I occasionally reminisce about godawful cartoons that I hated as a kid. I hope that's normal. One which I recall was the 'Tooth Mice', and it seems I'm not the only one. The premise was that there were these two mice (husband and wife, I recall), who would come and collect your teeth from under your pillow and leave you a present or some such. Two things annoyed me about this: firstly, the theme tune, which went "Are there tooth-mice?/Here's the proof/Every time you/Lose a tooth/There's a pair of fearless mice/Who fight through rain and snow and ice/To bring you all a nice surprise/So go to bed and close your eyes" and, if you can get over the fact that I still remember that twee drivel a decade and a half later, you'll notice that they follow "here's the proof" with... further details of the same implausible assertion. The second was that MICE DON'T COLLECT TEETH. That's fairy's work. Idiots.

And now I see this, wherein a Frenchwoman tells her English niece that a mouse will collect her milk teeth. This confirms suspicions I've had for a while, that in some eccentric countries, tooth-hungry mice are a normal thing, and one of them sold us this cartoon. This would explain both the mice and the awful, awful song. Kids' TV shows don't normally have massive budgets or require top-notch production values. Poetry is also a proper blighter to translate well, and bad translations often account for all manner of bizarre doggerel. Shakira ("lucky that my breasts are so small and humble so you don't confuse them with mountains") to Bertolt Brecht (most of the Threepenny Opera) it seems nobody is immune. The tooth-mice song, travesty as it is to concepts of truth and evidence, was probably done in about five minutes, by Alan Johnson's science teacher.

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